Systematic Chaos

Here we are,end of another week! A good feeling and time for some bevvies. Had another b/day yesterday, and I still think every year-what have I achieved in my life. Apart from the birth of 2 great kids-not much!! I have worked in a variety of jobs,and done my best to excel at all of them,yet seem unfulfilled yet. Do I want to keep doing this, or do something which will be more to my calling? I feel I have wasted my musical abilities-do I follow these and use them for good or evil hehe Or do I look another direction and study to help people more-in the fields of spirituality,healing or counselling which all hold attractions to me? At 41 ,I feel no closer to knowing my true calling then I did at 16....
On another note,I am anticipating seeing my beautiful girl again at Easter,and that keeps me propelled towards next weekend!! Yay!! And after that,the organising and stress that goes with moving again-to a new beginning with my gf. I feel sad for my daughter,whom I am leaving here,but know she is always taken care of,and that she will be visiting  and I will still get to see her smiling face and feel that connection I've had with her since she opened her eyes as a wee baby.Her mum spoils her too much-but I can see a sensitive,caring young woman emerging and it tugs at my heartstrings knowing all the growing up she has to do,and the resulting turmoils and triumphs she will be dealing with. I hope she never feels the sense of hopelessness and loneliness I did as a child growing up,growong up in a world still stuck in old fashioned ideals of how a boy should act and be,Granted she is a girl lol and will find it somewhat different!! But that in itself brings forth many challenges-But I feel she will be ok.
Life is what you make it they say-well I'm gonna make it happy!!! I will love my gf and create a new life-bringing a maturity that will overrun any previous challenges i"ve had in my relationships previously. And forge a new path of fulfillment and wellbeing-for both of us,by just working together and following our hearts.I can't wait to get started!!!